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Halloween Costume Ideas for the Pleasantly Plump

Ever get frustrated trying to come-up with a Halloween costume that won’t look ridiculous on someone over a mere 120lbs? Never fear! Everyone knows that all the best monsters and villains have ample asets, and large, um, tracks of land. They wear their worldly flesh proudly as a badge of hedonistic honor, and so shall you! Behold the depraved beauty of these voluptuous villains, well-padded witches, and Rubenesque rogues. You know what they say, go big or go home.

Why villains and not heroes, you ask? Heroes ride horses, rob the rich, feed the poor, bank on their looks, hope for peaceful lives, build co-dependent relationships, die, and are easily defeated by fruit. Villains ride waves of apocalyptic devastation, use the rich, employ the poor, utilize their genius, resolve to rule the world, beguile whoever is convenient, cheat death, and can only be defeated by armed forces. What’s not to love?

(Added some villains!)

  • Syndrome

    How could I forget Mr. Incredible’s number one fan? The quintessential non-super super-villain, and mad-scientist has a background we can all relate to: a chubby, wide-eyed youth, rejected and humiliated by the hero he worships, eventually developing into multi-billionaire evil-genius who murders superheroes in increasingly inventive ways, kidnaps babies, and tries to take over the world. We’ve all been there.

  • The Penguin

    Otherwise known as Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot III, and with a name like that, who wouldn’t be screwed up? This “gentleman of crime” is often considered to be both among the best and the worst super villains to ever annoy The Dark Knight… precisely because he tends to annoy him rather than than, say, murder.

  • Ursula, the Sea Witch

    Voluptuous, manipulative, and all-around badass witch. This purple-skinned sorceress has a wicked sense of humor and a major axe to grind against the current regime. Once a senior member of the Atlantican court, her obsession with dark magic and duplicity against the kingdom led to her banishment. So unfair, right? What’s the harm in a little magical moonlighting? She won’t charge much, just your VOICE!

  • Fester Addams

    Shy, hairless, hunched, and barrel-shaped with dark, sunken eyes and often a deranged smile, Fester Addams has all the charm of a homicidal gorilla. Granted, he is not technically considered a villain, but it can be argued that it sort of depends on what side you’re on. Channel your inner Fester by fishing (with dynamite), taking a shower (using a special “scalding” setting), feeding garden plants (on blood plasma), and training eagles (to attack the neighbor’s homing pigeons).

  • Abominatrix

    A huge, green, premenstrual bitch. The woman who would become the Abominatrix (Florence Sharples), was an employee of a savings and loan company. (If that isn’t evil I don’t know what is.) Her boss funded a genetic research division seeking a cure for pre-menstrual syndrome, and the Abominatrix was the product of an accidental effect of this supposed “cure.” The treatment left her permanently in that condition. Hell hath no fury like a woman permanently stuck in PMS mode.

  • Oogie Boogie

    Sadistic demeanor and a large burlap sack? This could be the easiest costume you ever don! Unlike all the other inhabitants of Halloween Town, who are merely monsters who scare people simply because they enjoy it as a celebration of their skill and fun, it appears that Oogie is truly evil. Just a heads-up, when he is finally defeated, it is revealed that he is merely a colony of bugs wrapped in sacking. Consider it a test of your dedication to authenticity.

  • Yubaba

    Talk about a big head. Yubaba is a greedy, manipulative witch who runs a bathhouse catering to Japanese folk-spirits. Over-bearing and authoritarian, she controls her workers by stealing their true names. What a sweetheart.

  • Marge Dursley

    Pre or post inflation, Aunt Marge’s brief encounter with our favorite wizard is the kind of family squabble we can all relate to. Who hasn’t wanted to blow-up a family member? That’s what you get for indirectly calling Lily Potter a bitch.

  • Dudley Dursley

    The ultimate big bully. Dudley is a loathsome, insolent boy, whose parents have spoiled him beyond reason. He’s made a career out of tormenting Harry, as well as any smaller, younger children he can get his hands on. Charming little muggle.

  • Gru

    He flys to the moon, he shrinks the moon, he grabs the moon, he sits on the toilet bowl… what? Super-villain extraordinaire, Gru is the perfect costume choice for pagans, considering his obsession with the moon. He’s also a shining example of villainous tenacity in the face of adversity, ageism, and un-supportive mother’s.

  • Witch of the Waste

    A chameleon of body-types, the Witch of the Waste is a force to be reckoned with. She transforms herself in order to beguile young men, the randy bitch. She is abandoned by her lover Howl (a superficial, narcissistic wizard) after her true self is revealed, which is rather old and pudgy. She curses him so that if he ever falls in love, he will belong to her. Sounds fair.

  • Ernie the Giant Chicken

    Ernie is a Giant Chicken. The clue’s in the name. He and Peter Griffin have a long history of violence. It’s best not to pry into his business, as even the slightest affront to his sensibilities will result in a drawn out, overly dramatic fight scene, ending in his seeming demise, only to rise again and haunt your mundane life and ruin random situations. Basically, this costume will be the perfect excuse to act like a giant asshole and beat the living crap out of people.

  • Eric Cartman

    Cartman is a chubby, immature, spoiled, outspoken, lazy, foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, racist, greedy, sexist, anti-semitic, xenophobic, sociopathic, narcissistic, ill-tempered, insensitive, homophobic, misogynistic, self-righteous, manipulative…wait, what? Screw you sir, I’m going home.

  • Henrietta Biggle

    Also known as Goth Girl, Henrietta is one of the infamous Goth Kids that occupy South Park. Along with her Gothic brethren, she believes that anyone who follows a so-called normal life and path of the average citizen is to be despised. Thus, she quotes that the purpose of her group is to “make life more miserable for the conformists.” The only thing she hates more than the conformists is the vampire sub-culture, as everyone mistakes her for being a vampire rather than Goth. Fuck conformity! Everyone wear black! Oh, wait.

  • Lots-O’-Huggin’ Bear

    First thing you gotta know about him, he’s a hugger…and a tyrant! Don’t piss him off, or he’ll send you to the Time-Out Chair.

  • The Queen of Hearts

    The Queen of Hearts, that is, if by “heart” you mean a strangled, pulsating, disembodied organ torn out of a chest cavity. Even well-mannered little Alice broke down and called her a “fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant.” Off with her head!

  • Sheriff of Nottingham

    Alright, so “Old Bushel-Britches” threatens and oppresses the poor peasants, helping to pad the pockets of the rich and corrupt. Back off. He’s only doing his job.

  • Dr. Amanda Waller

    Large and in charge, Dr. Amanda Waller, nicknamed “The Wall”, is a government agent who led both the Suicide Squad (a government-run group of former super-villains working in return for amnesty) and Project Cadmus (a top-secret force formed at the behest of the U.S. government to create a counterforce to the Justice League should they ever go rogue). She’s also worked for Lex Luthor during his presidency. The list of federal and international evil this woman has been a part of could break the internet. She’s my hero, um, villain.

  • The Underminer

    Behold, the Underminer! He is always beneath you, but nothing is beneath him! He hereby declares war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before him!

  • Gluttony

    Gluttony (one of the Homunculi in the Fullmetal Alchemist anime) is usually pretty docile under normal circumstances, but prone to bouts of frenzy in which he uncontrollably tries to eat whatever crosses his path. This can cause a bit of trouble when this action is unplanned. He’s since learned to ask his siblings if he can eat their enemies, before they engage in battle. Polite little abomination, isn’t he?

  • Bill Sykes

    He’s a big bad man and one of the most realistically evil characters ever portrayed in a Disney film. Based on the Bill Sykes of Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, this Bill Sykes from Oliver and Company is just as ruthless and not sugar-coated for children. He’s a loan shark, shipyard agent, crime boss, brutal murderer, and prefers torturing puppies rather than barmaids. Go Disney.

  • Mad Madam Mim

    Madam Mim (based on a real character in the Arthurian legends) is a very powerful witch who is equal or more powerful than Merlin himself. She’s morbid, boisterous, cunning, arrogant, mischievous, and has a marked distaste for sunshine and all things wholesome. During her shapeshifting Wizard’s Duel with Merlin, she finds a way around her own rules against pink dragons by turing into a purple dragon. Her overconfidence is her only downfall, as Merlin defeats her by countering her fixation on large predators by turing into the smallest predator, a germ. She’s still alive though! Mad mad mad mad, Madam Mim!

  • Cheshire Cat

    Although not technically a villain, if there was ever a mischief-maker that enjoyed causing trouble as much as your worst enemy, this is the cat for you. Definitely the resident Trickster in Wonderland. Fat cat.

  • Professor Padraic Ratigan

    An anthropomorphic version of Conan Doyle’s Professor Moriarty, Ratigan is intelligent, charismatic, calm, and calculating, although known to burst into violent rages when faced with the incompetence of his minions. A self-loathing specist, Ratagin detests being referred to as a rat, and insists on the alternative description, “a big mouse.” He even feeds his hench-mouse Bartholomew to his hench-cat Felicia for calling him “the world’s greatest rat.” Here kitty kitty.

  • Feathers McGraw

    Have you seen this chicken? A bird of many faces, Feathers McGraw is a silent, yet sinister penguin and criminal mastermind in Wallace and Gromit’s adventure, The Wrong Trousers. His plan to rob a precious diamond from a museum ultimately succeeds, but his escape is foiled by his own invention, the robotic Trousers. His genius was his downfall.

  • Orwen, a Witch of Morva

    Orwen is one of The Witches of Morva in The Black Cauldron. Infamous for striking heavily-weighted bargins and gaining one-of-a-kind treasures, she and her sisters sell the Black Cauldron for a Magic Sword. (Never accuse these witches of being powerless.) A particularly randy enchantress, if it weren’t for her sisters interventions, whomever became the object of her intense, disturbing attraction would be doomed to possible rape, or would at least be wedged permanently in her ample cleavage.

  • Kingpin

    Kingpin is an exceptional martial artist, criminal mastermind, genius, expert strategist and tactician, and possesses great physical strength. In short, he is not to be fucked with. He’s such a badass, that he not only made enemies of Spider-Man, DareDevil, and the Punisher, but also threatened his fellow villains as well. He remained the ruler of New York’s criminal underground for decades, and even when seemingly defeated, instigated gang wars in order to throw the criminal world into chaos, thus enabling him to step-in and take over control. You gotta have swagger to wear this suit, kid.

  • The Blob

    Originally working as a side-show circus attraction, the Blob is an immovable force of brute strength and obnoxious attitude. His mutation provided him with an extreme amount of pliable body mass, which grants him superhuman strength and his own gravitational pull. He refused to join the X-Men, and eventually became one of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Possessing the mindset of a bully, he mostly uses his powers for petty crime. Hey ladies, he’s single.

  • Henry J. Waternoose III

    The former CEO of Monsters, Inc. He’ll kidnap a thousand children before he lets his company die! That’s a good old fashioned work ethic, that is.

  • Baron Vladimir Harkonnen

    Villain of villains, Baron Vladimir built the power and ruthless reputation of House Harkonnen on blackmail, subterfuge, and treachery. In addition to his sadistic homosexual tendencies, he also has a penchant for medical procedures that encourage skin infections, and revels in devising elaborate torture methods for his enemies. Proud of his corpulent frame, he wears belt-mounted anti-gravity suspenders that allow him to float in midair in order to retain his mobility, and flaunts the health complications that go with his weight.

  • Jabba the Hutt

    A bit on-the-nose for the theme of this post, granted, but how could we leave out the most famous gangster in all the galaxy? Friend of rancor beasts and bounty hunters alike, the lovable antics of this blackmailing big wig have won the hearts of audiences everywhere. And his taste in fetish slave fashion continue to inspire nerds everywhere.

  • Cyclops

    Wear this one just so you can go around smashing things and screaming, “Hercules! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” It will please me.

  • Dolores Umbridge

    With her fluffy pink cardigans and black velvet bows, one is said to be reminded of “a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad.” Madam Umbridge’s time at Hogwarts was characterized by cruelty and abusive punishments against students, and because of her interfering and condescending ways she was generally hated by most students and teachers alike. Well, no one ever said that enforcing politically-restricted curriculum would make you popular. She, will, have, ORDER!

  • Jumba Jookiba

    Doctor Jumba Jookiba is the creator of 628 illegal genetic experiments, all of which eventually crash-landed on the islands of Hawai’i on the planet Earth. He has been called a mad scientist, but he prefers to be called an evil genius. Judging by several physiological similarities between himself and his various creations, it could be assumed that either they are mostly or all based upon species native to his home planet of Quelte Quan, or that they possess a portion of his own DNA. Creepy and smart. My kinda guy.

  • Stromboli

    Puppeteer, showman, and kidnapper, Stromboli is a cruel opportunist with a flair for theater. He locks Pinocchio in a cage to ensure that his new star-attraction doesn’t return home, and subsequently ruin his chance to make a fortune off the little golem. A forward thinking environmentalist, Stromboli says that when the puppet is too old to perform, he will use him for firewood. Recycle, reduce, reuse.

  • Fat Tony

    The original Tony Soprano. Fat Tony D’Amico is the resident mob boss of Springfield. Some of his criminal exploits have included: bigamy, murder, putting various “hits” on the residents of Springfield (including Mayor Quimby and Homer), supplying the elementary school with rat-milk (despite promising Quimby that it would be “dog or higher“), and claiming his wife was “whacked by natural causes.”

  • Lurky

    Lurky, a giant brown sprite, serves as Murky’s sidekick in their war against the Color Kids. Secretly, Lurky actually delights in “all the pretty colors” of Rainbowland, and dreams of one day riding a pretty horsey like Starlite. A tender-hearted villain, he often foils Murky’s plans, either on purpose or by his clumsy nature. He drives their filthy go-kart, called the Grunge Buggy, while Murky rides shotgun in a garbage can strapped to the side.

  • Cthulhu

    Gigantic, bulbous, the Elder Evil. Lord Cthulhu, the tentacular star-spawned Presence in Lovecraftian cosmogony, sleeps within the sunken depths of his ancient city beyond the shadowy eons of time. When the “stars are right” he shall rise to swallow the world’s soul and set the earth aflame in a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom. That’s old-school evil, folks. Gloriously, if you choose to go the cheap-and-effortless route of cosplay, t-shirts are available for purchase that read: “What part of ‘ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn’ don’t you understand?” Additionally, your ingratiating gesture of emulation will ensure that you will either be enslaved or killed mercifully by the Dread Lord upon his return. Bonus.

  • Still not sure?

    Remember, you can pretty much just choose any character you want, and pretend that you’re that character 10 or 20 years older than their canon age. You know, represent them after all the New World Order drama has passed, and they’ve settled down a little, added a few pounds, adopted several cats, demoted their minions to household staff, and they’ve gotten quite comfortable with the world being as fucked up as it already is, without any further interference from them.

Well, that’s all for this year’s Halloween Costume Idea resource guide! Next year we’ll dive into Halloween Costume Ideas for the Elderly, because old people like to get their costume-on too. And the year after that, well find some Halloween Costume Ideas for the Many-Tentacled, because you try fitting into a Mulan costume with eight limbs and sticky suckers (poor poly-dexterous, multi-appendage’d, invertebrate devils). And stay-tuned for our 2034 installment, Halloween Costume Ideas for the Anatomically Challenged, because I figure if we all survive the various apocalypses and the nuclear wars heading our way, one can assume that by 2034 we’ll all have achieved world peace, have flying cars, and just be floating heads in glass jars.

Yours in Wickedness and Nefarious Deeds,
Monster Moz

I’m a pan(en)theistic Pagan with a quick tongue, black thumb, and no sense of elemental direction. Otherwise, I’m awesome.
Posted By Mnemosyne Mars

I'm a pan(en)theistic Pagan with a quick tongue, black thumb, and no sense of elemental direction. Otherwise, I'm awesome.

3 Responses to “Halloween Costume Ideas for the Pleasantly Plump”

  1. Kristina says:

    OoO I totally want to go as Oogie Boogie next year!! I don't care if I'm a girl. Genius.

  2. Mnemosyne Mars says:

    I know there are many, many more I could have listed, but this post can't go on forever! I tried to choose a wide variety of villains and larger body types. If you must cite a glaring omission of your favorite corpulent character, then please do. <3

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